No One Wins
by TryingFlashback
Summary: Over the summer Santana made a huge mistake, one that might cost her a chance at Rachel, but it doesn't stop her from trying. pezberry endgame with brittana and quinntana, g!pSantana
1. Chapter 1

**This is a g!peen Santana story, with references to possible sexual assault, that being said this is also relatively smutty. If you're still with me enjoy.**

I wanted to take it back. Every time I saw her there was a fleeting feeling of regret, I could see it in her eyes. I remembered how she looked that night. I had to erase it from my mind. I was wasted, I was high too, I didn't even remember what _really_ happened, I just knew she hated my guts. I just knew that I hurt her somehow.

It wasn't fair, not really at least. Not to her and certainly not to me. How was I supposed to ask for forgiveness if I didn't know what I'd done? It happened over the summer, this was a new year, it was supposed to be a new start.

"Hey." I looked over my shoulder and saw Quinn approaching. I'd been waiting for her to get out of class, we were supposed to meet Brittany after school today before their cheer practice to figure out what we were going to do tonight.

This is the one Friday during the whole football season that there's not a game, which meant there would be parties everywhere. I didn't even have soccer practice, my coach knew we'd just be itching to get out of there anyway. "Hey so what'd you hear from Puck?" I asked Quinn as we headed for the cheerleader's locker room.

"Let's go to his place, that's where everyone's going anyway. Wanna meet us after practice?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah, I'll grab you guys something to eat and then come back up here." I told her. Quinn smiled and headed into the locker room. I turned around, just in time to see that she was still there. She'd been watching us, I knew it all along. "Hey, you got a problem?" I asked her from across the hall. She ignored me, and continued packing her backpack like I wasn't even there.

I walked over towards her and leaned against the locker beside her. "I asked you a question." She continued ignoring me. I got so fed up with her that I slammed her locker shut, and that's when she finally looked at me. "You got a hearing problem?"

"Santana, leave me alone." I was so done with this. She never told me what I did, she just ignored me, or glared at me. She never actually spoke to me.

"Why?" She looked away from me and pulled her backpack over her shoulders. "Look, I'm sorry for what I-."

"Don't finish that sentence. Sorry isn't enough, you don't even know what you did." Rachel snapped. "Either way, I guess it doesn't matter-."

"It does matter, because you're the only one who knows what happened, and you won't even tell me." I reached out, just to touch her arm just to show her that I did care, but she pulled away from me.

"What matters most is that I know what you are, I know you were drunk and high, but somewhere deep inside you liked that feeling. You're controlling, you crave power-."

"Fuck you Rachel." I said bluntly.

"Well that night you wanted to." She wanted to walk away, to just leave it at that, but that was not going to happen.

"You wanna go to a party tonight?" I asked her. She looked like she was going to punch me right then and there. "Come on Rachel." I grabbed her arm and held her there. "It'll be fun."

"In your dreams." Rachel yanked her arm away and left me standing there wondering what my true motives were. Wondering if I could ever do anything to change that night. Wondering if I cared to.

"Brittany!" Quinn yelled as she put on her makeup in my bathroom. I was sitting there on the ledge watching her, when Brittany came skipping in.

"Huh?" Brittany asked.

"Tell San, not to get drunk tonight." Quinn urged Brittany. Honestly, I couldn't tell who looked more beautiful tonight, Quinn or Brittany. Quinn was wearing a little black dress, with four inch heels to, as she put it, make her ass look fab. Brittany just wore a black vest with nothing but a bra under it, and short shorts, with high top shoes on. They were dressing to impress, I just wanted to hang out with some people and drink.

"Don't drink tonight." Brittany said with zero hint of seriousness. Quinn put on her lipstick while Brittany danced spontaneously in the corner. I kept my eyes on Quinn for a moment, if she was going for sexy then she hit the mark perfectly.

"Like what you see?" Quinn joked, I just nodded. "I can tell." Quinn's eyes went down to my crotch and I quickly slid off the counter and went into the other room, trying to cover myself. "San." Quinn said as she came into my bedroom. "Need help?" I shook my head no as I sat down on my bed. It would be fine, it would go away in a second.

"No, I'm alright, let's go." Brittany skipped out of the room and pulled me up to my feet. She and I walked hand and hand out of my house. Quinn, of course, took the front while Brittany got in the back. I didn't mind driving, even if it meant we'd probably have to stay the night at Puck's because I always drank too much anyway. "Britt, you've got so much energy." I told her as she sang to some Madonna song and continued to dance in the back.

"I just wanna dance." Brittany said with a grin. "Will you guys dance with me?"

"Course we will B." Quinn assured her as I pulled into Puck's driveway. Brittany got out of the car first, and she didn't even wait for Quinn and I to follow her, which as it turned out was a good thing. The place was packed, and I could hardly see much of anything, but Quinn held onto my hand until we reached the kitchen. "So many fucking people." Quinn grabbed two cups and began fixing us drinks.

"Let me make it." I said trying to take over, but Quinn pushed me away.

"No." Quinn said stubbornly. She handed me the cup when she was finished and smiled as I polished off the drink in a matter of seconds. "Show off." Brittany came running into the room a moment later, grabbing my hand and pulling me out onto the dance floor. I didn't even get a chance to toss my plastic cup somewhere, Brittany was already moving against my body relentlessly.

There were times when I wondered if Brittany knew how hot she was, right now, it was obvious Brittany knew what she was doing to my body. She bent over all the way to the ground, and moved her ass against my crotch, slowly making her way back up to a standing position. It's not until I felt someone's hand rubbing against my hard-on that I'm jolted into a state of awareness. I glanced over my shoulder, only to spot Quinn, who had a mischievous look on her face as she moved her body against me and continues to rub her hand against me.

Brittany's enjoying herself, but Quinn wants all my attention. She kept squeezing my cock until I turned around and even then I could tell she wanted more. "Quinn." I whispered in her ear.

"Yeah." She breathed out.

"Let's get out of here." Brittany wouldn't care, she was already dancing with other people. Quinn didn't even answer, we were heading back into the kitchen already, my hands were all over her body. My lips against her neck, her hand on my zipper.

"I want this inside me." Quinn said. She grabbed the front of my shirt and sucked on my bottom lip. "I don't fucking care how you want me, on my knees, on my back…on all fours." I was getting harder by the minute, I could feel my breathing quicken. "Tell me how you want me." Quinn said as she spun around and looked over her shoulder at me. I pressed against her backside, thinking about all the things I could do to her right now.

"Like that." I whispered in her ear. I heard someone clear there throat, and I turned away and spotted Rachel standing there, looking both nervous and disgusted. I turned back to Quinn. "Go upstairs, take off your dress, get on the bed and wait for me, okay?" Quinn nodded and left the room quickly, stumbling a little as she started for the step. "You showed."

"Not for you, Kurt wanted to go, so I said I'd accompany him." I rolled my eyes and grabbed the bottle of vodka, taking two big gulps before I set the bottle down. "Careful Santana, if you drink too much then you won't be able to get it up." I rushed over and smacked the cup out of Rachel's hand, covering her mouth before she could even protest.

"I told you to shut the fuck up about any of that." Rachel was one of three people at the school who knew about my secret. Quinn and Brittany were the only others. I couldn't believe that someone as low on the food chain as Berry knew about it, but there was nothing I could do to change that. "And for the record, I can get it up just fine."

"You're disgusting." I took a step away from Rachel and smirked.

"You were the one watching Quinn and I, maybe that turns you on. You can come upstairs with us, you wanna watch?" Rachel tried to smack me, but I caught her wrist before she could even try. "I like it rough sweetheart, but not that rough. How do you like it?"

"Consensual." Rachel said before brushing by me and going out the back screen door. I had no choice but to follow her. I chased her all the way out towards the street, she could hear me following her but she didn't stop.

"Rachel, what the hell?" I grabbed her hand to try and get her to slow down, but she pulled away, more forcibly this time.

"If you touch me one more time, I'm calling the police. I will press charges against you, I'll tell everyone what you did, and they'll know what a monster you really are." I was taken aback, sure we'd gotten into small arguments, but Rachel had never said something like that.

"Did I…" I looked around for a moment. "I didn't ra…you know what I'm trying to say."

"Say it Santana. Just say it."

"Did I rape you?" I asked her. She looked down at the ground and shook her head no. "What did I do?"

"Clearly you moved on, you've forgotten it, but I haven't…so it's nothing." I wasn't going to take that, we had to speak about it or it would never go away.

"Look I…I'm sorry for acting like a jerk around you. I thought that you were like just complaining or something I didn't realize that I…really hurt you." I sounded stupider than I've ever sounded in my entire life, but at least now, Rachel was listening to me. "I can take you home."

"Isn't Quinn waiting for you?" Rachel asked bluntly.

"She can wait, I just want to make sure you get back alright." She nodded and we kept walking. "Rachel." I asked after a long time.

"Hm?"

"Why haven't you told anyone?" I asked her.

"Because if my father's found out then they'd press charges-."

"No, not about that. About…my secret." I could feel Rachel's eyes on me so I looked away.

"Because I don't want you to feel the shame that I feel every day." Rachel said quietly.

"You should hold it over me, I would if I were in your shoes. You should hate me too, I'd feel the same way." Rachel didn't respond, so we just kept walking in silence. I guess we were so stuck in our own worlds that we didn't even realize that we'd made it back to her house. We stopped at the door, it felt odd to be here with her.

"Well this is sufficiently weird." I muttered.

"It's not exactly my ideal night." Rachel added.

"What would be your ideal night?" I asked curiously. Rachel didn't seem to want to answer at all. Her hand was on her door and she was about to just go in and leave me standing there. "Sorry…um, I guess I should…"

"Thank you." That made me stop in my tracks. "For walking me home."

"Yeah." She'd already closed the door. "Any time."

**Tell me what you think. Should I continue. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey thank you all for the reviews/favs/follows. I just want to let everyone know and maybe remind a few that this is a smut fic, I said it would be pezberry endgame, but if people want me to change it so that it doesn't just come up under the pezberry tag then I'd be more than welcome to. Also there will be heavy quinntana and brittana, so really if that bothers you I'd urge you not to read this. If you're still with me, read on. **

"You'd better win." I looked to Quinn and gave her my best smile. This was my favorite time of the season. Before every game, I would just go on the field before everyone, dribble the soccer ball around, and Quinn would come and talk with me. The whole cheer squad was already there, a few parents too, the rest of my teammates still on the sidelines getting their gear on. I always felt at ease, always.

"No pressure, huh?" Quinn smiled and nudged me.

"You owe me." She said. "I was waiting upstairs for you for like thirty minutes, and I was naked. So yeah, pressure's on, cause if you lose…then I'll be sad. Don't make me sad, okay?" I nodded and passed the ball to Amy who'd just started jogging onto the field. "Are your parents here?" I looked into the crowd and spotted my parents. Quinn saw them too and waved.

"Okay, I gotta go warm-up, see you after?" Quinn nodded and leaned in, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek before she ran back over to the cheerleaders.

"Good luck San!" Brittany yelled before practicing her backflips. It wasn't until that very moment that I spotted Rachel walking up into the stands. That was, hopefully, the only unexpected thing that happened tonight.

The warm-up was quick, our coach wanted to talk with us about how important this game was. It was against Washington High and it was our first conference game. Amy and I, were the leading goal scorers on the team, and tonight we both had to be on our game, otherwise we'd lose.

The game started kind of slow, Amy had a shot on goal which was a good sign and the ball stayed on their side of the field for the most part. It wasn't until the 37th minute that Amy made the perfect cross and I took a shot from the top of the box and scored.

I could hardly hear the crowd, I was so in my own head. Amy jumped on me and I spun her around. I blew two kisses, one to Quinn and one to Brittany. From there it was a blur, and the final score ended up being 1-0 us. Our coach didn't even keep us late in the locker room, so when I went back to the bleachers, all the students, parents, and my friends were there waiting for us.

"Was that goal for me or Brittany?" Quinn asked jokingly.

"Me, duh." Brittany said as she wrapped her arms around my neck. "Awesome game."

"Thanks Britt." I whispered in her ear before my mom and dad came over to congratulate me. "I thought you guys had some lame business endeavor to attend."

"We did, but we thought you were slightly more important." My dad said as he kissed my forehead.

"Only slightly." My mom joked. I was about to hug her when Rachel walked up to me and gave me a tense smile.

"Hey, um…really great game." She was gone just like that, and I didn't know what to do or say. Everyone was looking at me with confused eyes, so I did the only thing I could think of.

"Rachel! Wait!" I glanced at my parents. "Adios mama y papa, see you tomorrow." I kissed them both before I jogged after her, surprised that she'd made it to the parking lot so fast. "Hey." I grabbed her shoulder and she turned to face me. "Um…everything alright. I mean, you just…"

"Everything's fine." She said quickly.

"I never quite took you for the type of girl to be into sports."

"There's a type?" I felt like I was putting my foot into my mouth more often than not at this point.

"No just-."

"I'm at every game. I do photos for the yearbook." It was only now that I'd noticed her camera. I felt like a complete idiot. She wasn't here to see me, she was just here out of obligation. "So I guess you should go and celebrate then, with your friends and everything."

"Yeah I guess." Rachel started to walk away again. "But you could come with us too. I mean it's not a big thing. The team, friends, booze whatever. I bet some of the girls would want to see the photos you took, you know?" Rachel seemed to be thinking about it, really contemplating the idea. "What do ya say? Come on." For the first time in a very long time, she smiled, it was genuine, I'd seen it before I just couldn't remember when.

"Okay. Yeah, sure." She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Should I drive-?"

"No, I'll take you." I offered. "I'll just drive you back after the party, is that okay?" Rachel nodded just as Brittany came up behind me and hugged me.

"Hey." She whispered, all the while watching Rachel.

"Hey." I whispered back before she let go. "Um, Rachel's coming with us to Amy's." I told Brittany.

"Awesome!" Brittany exclaimed as she grabbed Rachel's hand and they started walking towards my car. I was about to follow when Quinn stopped me.

"Um, what's with? You don't owe her anything." Quinn assured me.

"I was a jerk to her yesterday. It's not a big deal, we're just hanging out anyway." I wrapped my arms around Quinn's waist and pulled her close to me. "And anyway, I'm all yours tonight." I leaned in to kiss Quinn, but she pulled back quickly and giggled.

"Everything's on my terms." She said before biting her bottom lip and dragging me towards my car. We got in, Brittany and Rachel were already in the back chatting about dancing or something along those lines. "So Rachel…how'd you enjoy the game?"

"It was great." Rachel said. A small smile formed on my lips.

"Isn't Santana so good?" Quinn asked. Quinn was leaning over the gearshift, she must have been looking directly at Rachel making her feel like she was being interrogated.

"Yeah, she's really amazing." Rachel replied. Quinn nudged me and pinched my cheek.

"I personally think Santana's super-hot when she's playing-."

"Quinn stop." I warned the blonde sitting next to me. "Quinn acts like a weirdo when she's off her meds." I joked to lighten the mood. Quinn punched my shoulder, but both Brittany and Rachel were already laughing. Quinn rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat, letting only a few moments pass before she rested her hand on my thigh. I wanted to squirm away from her though, but I didn't have much of a choice.

We arrived at Amy's house, and Brittany was quick to get out of the car. Rachel, I assume, was waiting for me. Quinn leaned over and kissed me, it was so sudden that even after a few seconds I didn't notice her tongue was in my mouth. I pulled back prematurely, even though I wanted to kiss her for longer. Quinn got out of the car and followed Brittany, and I turned and gave Rachel a smile before we got out together.

"So since, I'm driving you back to the parking lot I'm defs not drinking, but you can if you want." I told Rachel as we entered the house. Amy walked up to me and gave me a quick hug.

"Dude, three dates? Come on, you're not gonna even share?" Amy questioned playfully. Amy held out a beer towards Rachel.

"Hey not this one, go bother Quinn." I suggested. Amy frowned and walked off towards the hoard of people playing flip-cup. "If you want a drink I'll get you one, but Amy's cocky as shit, so I didn't want her getting any ideas about you."

"But you're cocky." Rachel told me.

"Not cocky, confident, there's a difference you know." Rachel arched an eyebrow like she didn't believe a word I'd said so far. I smiled and spotted two open spots on the couch with at least half of my team was seated near. Rachel and I walked over and sat down next to one another. "Hey guys, Rachel took some picks from the game, wanna see them?" Everyone perked up and waited patiently for Rachel to pull out her camera.

Rachel stood up and walked towards the center and everyone crowded around her so they could see. Rachel handed her camera to Flynn and went to return to her seat when Amy pushed Rachel towards me. Rachel fell on my lap, hitting my crotch with her hand on the way down.

Every inch of my body urged me to howl out in pain, but I couldn't, it would draw all the attention to me. "Are you okay?" Rachel was about to get up, but I held onto her wrist so she wouldn't move, I needed some form of cover.

"Jesus that hurt like a bitch." I muttered as I held myself through my pants. "Oh my god."

"I'm really really sorry." I wasn't upset with her, I just couldn't think about anything else except the pain. "Um do you need anything?"

"I uh…could you just like walk in front of me?" Rachel nodded and we swiftly got to our feet. I held her hand, partially for support, partially so no one could see what else I was holding. We went into the bathroom and Rachel closed the door for me. "Jeez were you going for a punch or something?" I joked as I turned away from her and tried to rearrange myself to relieve some of the pain and pressure.

"I'm sorry I didn't realize I'd hit you. How much does it hurt?" Rachel asked moving closer to me. I unbuttoned my pants and pushed my hands under my briefs.

"I feel like I've been shot." I mumbled. Rachel didn't speak for a while, to the point where I had to turn to make sure she was still there. "What?" I asked her because she was just staring at me.

"Are you and Quinn dating?" She asked bluntly.

"Psh yeah right, where'd you get that bullshit?" I asked her.

"Um from that one time when you kissed her in the car right in front of me." Rachel replied.

"Quinn's like…my-."

"Fuck buddy?" Rachel questioned. I was surprised by that, Rachel had a reputation for being kind of pure. "I'm not judging I was just curious. You don't have to answer."

"Well what about you? Got a boyfriend or something?"

"No one's really interested in me." Rachel told me.

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I don't put out, because I'm not like Quinn who's so open and free about her sex life." There was a hint of bitterness in her voice I could tell.

"Well you don't have to put out. It's not a big thing for a lot of people." I explained to her.

"Truthfully, the farthest I ever went was with…you." I looked down at the ground, ashamed for whatever it is I did. I stood up, I'd been in here long enough, I really should've been gone by now. "Um your zipper." I looked down and went to zip up my pants, but of course they got stuck on the fabric of my briefs.

"Shit." I muttered as I struggled to pry the fabric loose.

"Do you need help?" I should've said no, but honestly it was kind of nice to have Rachel be this close to me when a day ago she wanted me dead. Rachel held the zipper in between two fingers, and reached for the fabric with her other hand. Every few seconds, the back of her hand would graze my shaft, and I'd struggle to remain silent and not say something to make her feel uncomfortable.

"This is really hard." Rachel whispered as she looked up at me.

"Um yeah." I fought the blush that threatened to cover my face. "Here, I think I can get it, you don't have to." I pulled back and practically ripped my briefs from my zipper and zipped up my pants. I was in the process when Quinn walked into the room.

"What the fuck?" Quinn snapped.

"Quinn calm down, nothing happened." Rachel was already backing away before Quinn could say anything else. "I um…"

"Rachel, can you give us a moment?" Quinn asked with faux sweetness. Rachel clearly didn't want to get in the middle of anything so she left without protest. "Are you serious?" I leaned against the sink and crossed my arms over my chest.

"What?" I questioned.

"You're hard, did you know that?" Quinn asked.

"Whatever-."

"Not whatever, did Rachel make you hard?" Quinn questioned with a laugh. "What about her turned you on?"

"Nothing." I assured Quinn.

"Do you think she's a virgin? I bet she is." Quinn started. "She's probably tight as hell, huh?" Quinn began unbuttoning my pants and then pulling down my zipper. "Harder by the second."

"Are you just going to tease me or what?" Quinn slid down to her knees and kissed my cock through my briefs. I pulled down my pants further and Quinn opened her mouth and ran her tongue over my shaft through my briefs, occasionally sucking and moaning against me. "Come on Quinn stop messing around."

Quinn looked up at me and smirked, just as she pulled down my briefs. She wrapped her lips around me, moving her head back and forth at a menacingly slow pace. I ran my fingers through her hair trying not to push her towards me harder. I couldn't take it anymore, I pushed into Quinn's mouth until she choked against me and I had to pull out. I grabbed a piece of toilet paper and came a moment later, Quinn sucking my pulse point as came down from my orgasm.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as I kissed Quinn.

"For what?" Quinn questioned.

"For being so rough."

"I like when you're rough with me, never stop baby." Quinn grabbed the front of my shirt and kissed me until I couldn't breathe.


	3. Chapter 3

**So like I said earlier, there will be multiple pairings in this story, so don't be too surprised when it happens. If you don't like that then don't read. Other than that enjoy.**

The ride was absolutely silent. It was awkward to say the least, but I didn't have a choice but to take her back to her car. "So how was it?" Rachel didn't answer, at least not right away and I was immediately worried. "I mean…was it good for you?"

"Oh my god, do you realize what you just said?" Rachel questioned suddenly as I pulled into the parking lot.

"What?"

"That's the same thing you asked me _that _night." Rachel got out of the car and I could do little except follow her. She tried to open her car door but I slammed it shut.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize what I said, but I thought you had fun tonight. Suddenly you're acting like this." Rachel avoided my gaze completely.

"You think it might have something to do with you fucking Quinn in the bathroom while I had to wait around for you to come back?"

"You sound jealous." I told her.

"Of what?"

"Of Quinn." I said. "We just hooked up, nothing to get your panties in a bunch."

"You're such a jerk. You can sweet at times, but honestly Santana…you can be a real jerk."

"Hey Rachel, wait up!" I jogged down the hallway and caught up to Rachel. She was just heading for her locker so I leaned on the one next to her. "Can I ask you do something for me?" She glanced over at me curiously.

"No." She said firmly.

"Come on, I need help finishing a lab, I can't do it alone. And my coach won't let me practice until I finish it." Rachel contemplated it for a moment before shrugging and closing her locker. "I'll pay you." Rachel let a small laugh escape her lips. "I'll give you anything you want."

"My car's in the shop right now. And my dad's have work until 6, could you maybe…give me a ride home?"

"Yeah sure, anything." I assured her. Rachel grabbed her backpack and led the way into the chemistry room. Rachel was already in the zone, getting everything set up while I watched her. "Wow you're really into this whole school thing, huh?"

"I guess." Rachel said with a shrug. "Why did you miss this lab? Where were you?"

"I was…uh…busy." I said trying to avoid the whole conversation.

"Classy." Rachel started the timer and it was only then that I realized she was doing the entire experiment for me. "You can't keep it in your pants for more than five minutes can you?"

"No." I decided bold was better than avoiding things especially when it came to Rachel. "I'm hot blooded, when I'm turned on I need to take care of it somehow."

"Like in the bathroom, when I was helping you with your zipper?" Rachel questioned.

"You noticed that?" To say I was embarrassed would be an understatement. I decided I needed to play it off as nothing. "What'd you think?"

"Excuse me?"

"Come on, aren't you a little curious?" Rachel punched me in the shoulder and focused on the beakers instead of me.

"Shut up." I leaned close to Rachel, grabbing her wrist and holding her in place.

"Make me." I whispered in her ear.

"Want me to hit you in the balls again?" I wish I'd known how feisty Rachel was, that would've changed my entire approach to her. "Cause I can certainly do that." I let go of her hand and smiled.

"You're feisty." I told her. "I like it."

"It's not happening." I arched an eyebrow and returned to my seat on the stool.

"What?"

"Your charm doesn't work on me." Rachel insisted. "You think you're so sexy, you think every girl wants you…but you're wrong."

"Am I?"

"You are unbelievable." I couldn't help but smile, Rachel was rather endearing. "And if you try any of that crap with me in the car, I'll punch you."

"I'll try and keep my hands to myself." I finished writing down my data and began packing up my things. "Seriously, thanks for all your help."

"Any time." Rachel paused and then shook her head. "Wait, not actually any time, I have a feeling you'd take advantage of that."

"Let's get out of here then."

"I only invited you in because I was being nice." Rachel assured me as I took a seat on her bed. Rachel took out her backpack and bent over to pull out her homework. "Do you want anything?"

"I've got a pretty fucking nice view here." Rachel stood up and turned towards me, she was trying to frown but a smile broke out on her face.

"Well I guess I'll choose to take that as a compliment." Rachel said. "Don't you have homework?"

"I already did it."

"You're quite the student then."

"When I want to be." I said with a smile. Rachel took a seat next to me on the bed, with a notebook in hand. "And well sometimes I pay people to do my homework."

"In exchange for what?" Rachel asked curiously.

"For a good time." Rachel looked at me in shock, all until I started laughing. "Joking. Clearly you think very highly of me."

"You know what you are." Rachel closed her book and rested her hand on my shoulder.

"What? What am I?"

"A brat." Rachel nudged me and I playfully fell over on the bed. "So how long have you and Quinn been hooking up?" That was out of the blue. I didn't mind the question, I was just surprised.

"Um…I guess a year or so." I said with a shrug. Rachel laid next to me, with her head propped up on her elbow. She seemed legitimately interested, not just nonchalant.

"What about Brittany?"

"Oh shit…well that's a little different." I didn't mind talking about Quinn, she was all over the place at times, she was possessive, relentless, but she was Quinn. "We don't usually hook up, but things happen…she's given me head like twice, but that's it."

"Who do you prefer?" This was getting interesting, and oddly personal. Rachel didn't seem to care about it earlier, but maybe now that we're on her home turf she feels like she might have the upper hand.

"Honestly…Quinn." That surprised Rachel. "Brittany's wonderful, she's beautiful, but after things happen I regret it…like I did something wrong."

"You seem to like blondes, but I thought you preferred brunettes." I sat up and gave Rachel a curious look.

"Where'd you hear that?" I asked.

"From you that night. You told me that everyone loves blondes, but brunettes are the sexiest." A blush swept across Rachel's face and a smile across mine. "Which of course is true."

"When are your fathers getting home?" I asked Rachel.

"In like twenty minutes." I wiggled my eyebrows and Rachel hit me again. I didn't know why, maybe it had to do with my controlling nature, but I liked when Rachel hit me. Maybe I was a sadist or something, maybe I just wanted someone to fight back. "You should go."

"Why?"

"I wouldn't want you getting any ideas." I nodded, she was right, I couldn't just sit here with her without wanting her. I grabbed my stuff and gave her a smile.

"I'll see you around then."

I walked into Brittany's room and kicked off my shoes. She was laying on her stomach, watching some stupid MTV show. I rolled onto the bed next to her and kissed her cheek. "Hey sweetheart." Brittany giggled and kissed my cheek back.

"You only call me that when you're really horny." Brittany observed. I bit my bottom lip and shrugged. Brittany knew me and she knew what I wanted, she obviously had a choice in the matter but she always chose my way. Brittany nudged my shoulder and then pushed me down on my back as she rolled over my body and straddled my hips effortlessly. "Only if I get to be on top."

I didn't get a chance to respond, Brittany's lips collided with mine, her hand began moving against my belt. It was a matter of moments before I could feel my dick pushing against my underwear. I'd never been more grateful for skirts in my life. I pushed my fingers into her underwear, feeling her wetness against my fingers. Brittany moaned into my mouth, unzipping my pants and trying to tug them down as much as she could. Brittany pushed my hand away from her, instead she replaced my hand with her own. "Britt, come on baby." All I could do was watch her, listen to her moans as she pushed her fingers instead herself, grinding against them.

I touched myself as I watched her. Stroking my cock, quickening when she began moaning louder. "Britt, I need to be inside you right now." Brittany smirked and pulling her fingers out, holding them out for me to suck on. She tasted perfect, and when she grabbed my dick and lined it up with her core, I wanted nothing more than to switch positions and enter her quickly. But Brittany liked it slow and I let her slowly sit down until I was completely inside her. Brittany moved back and forth at a painstakingly slow pace. "Harder Britt." She didn't comply, slowly removing her top, and moving up and down on my dick. I reached up to grab her hips but Brittany smacked me across the face.

"I'm in control right now." I nodded, trying not to cum just in response to Brittany's new controlling nature. Brittany pulled off her bra and shoved it into my mouth forcibly. She moved faster now, her pussy tightening against me. All I could do was put my hands behind my head and watch her. I loved fucking Brittany, but I loved when she used me to fuck herself, it was so sexy, especially watching her breasts bounce against her chest and her throw her head back before she could hardly stop herself from reaching her orgasm. "I'm close." She whispered, she bounced on top of me harder. "Jesus San your cock." Brittany lasted just one brief moment before she grabbed onto me and screamed my name, her orgasm hit her hard, and when I kept moving inside her she came again.

I pulled out quickly, grabbing Brittany and pushing her down on her stomach. I stroked myself against her pussy, still feeling the heat from inside her. "Santana." Brittany looked over her shoulder at me. "Cum baby." I shot my load all over her ass, marveling at her smooth skin in contrast to the white droplets decorating her lower half.

"You are so sexy." I told Brittany. I trailed kisses up her back before nipping at her neck. "You make me feel so good."

"You make me feel good too."

"So are you coming to my game?" I asked Rachel who looked up from the book she was studying in the library. I sat down next to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "Come on, it'll be fun."

"I have other plans, sorry." I pulled my hand back and crossed my arms over my chest. "Are you pouting?"

"Plans with who?" I asked curiously.

"None of your business." I arched an eyebrow. Was Rachel seeing someone? Is this why she was acting like she didn't want to be around me? It could be a million things, she still hadn't even told me what I'd done wrong, so I had no idea what I could do. I grabbed Rachel's wrist and closed her book.

"Tell me." I urged her.

"It's dinner with my dads, stop acting all weird about it." A smile spread across both of our faces.

"Oh well that's actually important. But what if you…I dunno, came over to my house after dinner?" Rachel didn't seem convinced, but I wasn't going to give up. "I mean if we win it's a big deal, and if I score…" I leaned brushed Rachel's hair back behind her ear and whispered in her ear, "You wanna help me celebrate?" Rachel pushed me away.

"Nope."

"Other people will be there, it'll be more chill then that other party I promise, bring Kurt too if you want." I offered.

"Can I hit you in the balls again?" She asked playfully.

"If I'm drunk enough maybe."

"Hey, idiot what are you doing?" I looked over my shoulder and saw Quinn approaching. She wrapped her arms around me and ran her hands up my thighs before playfully hitting my shoulders.

"Talking Rachel into coming to my game." I explained to Quinn.

"Yeah Rachel you should totally come." Quinn said in a patronizing tone. "So San…where were you last night?" I thought back to my amazing night with Brittany, how after we hooked up she we ate mounds of ice cream and watches movies until we fell asleep in each other's arms. I wonder if Brittany already told her, and Quinn's just having one of her jealous days.

"Hanging with Britt." I told her truthfully. I didn't like doing this with Rachel sitting right there, even if Rachel had re-opened her book and pretended like she was reading.

"Well let's hang out tonight after your game." Quinn said with a wink. "But only if you're feeling dirty." Quinn kissed me on the lips, deep for a moment before roughly nipping my bottom lip. Quinn nipped at my ear. "I want it rough tonight." She whispered before walking away like she hadn't turned my body into a sauna. I turned to watch her leave.

"Jesus." I muttered.

"What'd she say?"

"Oh…nothing." I shrugged. "So tonight…my house, be there or…risk me begging."

"I'd love to see you beg." Rachel joked. I smirked and pulled Rachel's chair back away from the table. I got on my knees, holding her thighs in place to keep her from laughing or pushing me away.

"You want me on my knees right?" I asked, looking up at her.

"You're so dirty."

"Don't you know it." I stood up and swung my backpack over my shoulder. "See you later Rachel."

**Review.**


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is a little bit shorter to set up for the flashback, and for you all to get some answers about Santana and Rachel's past. I decided to do a double chapter update today, I hope you appreciate it.**

Rachel's POV

The game was a breeze apparently. Santana had two goals and she was being so cocky about it that it didn't even bother me. I actually don't even know why I showed, I could've just stayed home and relaxed, but I wanted to see Santana. I liked to see her when she was like this, happy, and a charmer.

"Thank god you're here." Santana said as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder. She led me into the kitchen and went straight to the fridge to get me a beer. "I was starting to get bored."

"I'm not all that exciting." I assured her as I took a hesitant sip, I didn't want to get drunk, but I didn't want to pretend like I wasn't having fun either.

"You excite me." Santana told me. "Especially wearing that." Santana's eyes traveled along my body, from my toes up to my exposed thighs and to the tight black dress that I wore. "It'll look even better on my floor." I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help but smile, even as Santana grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the basement.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"The real party's down here." I could hear the music getting louder as we moved into the smoky atmosphere of the basement. The lights were off but there was still black lights flashing, and everyone was dancing. Upstairs the same thing was going on, but in the dark things were different. In the dark people felt more alive, they touched what they wanted. I took another big gulp of my beer before setting it down and turning towards Santana.

"I'm not a great dancer." I lied, hoping we could just go back upstairs and forget it all.

"It's okay, just turn around, I'll show you how to feel it." I started dancing, of course I knew how I was just nervous. And for a while, I couldn't even feel Santana against me, but I felt her eyes on me. I got so fed up that I was going to turn around and tell her that I was leaving, but she wrapped her arms around me, and began moving against me.

It was gentle, sensual at first, but that didn't last. Her hands moved from my hips, to my ass, to between my thighs. She didn't move them up higher, but it was still the thought of it that was making her heart beat faster, her breath get hotter, and her blood floor more. With every move, she grew, and I could feel every inch of her against me. "Fuck." Santana breathed out into my ear. I guess that was the moment when I realized things were going too far, the moment when I pulled away.

"I should go get some water-."

"Wait, hold on. Jeez, we were just dancing." I started shaking my head before she even finished her sentence.

"We weren't, it was more. It was wrong." Santana's face fell and she crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't like you like that, okay? I'm just gonna get some water, I'll meet you upstairs." I didn't let her reply, I didn't want to. Because I knew if she did that there may be a chance that I would listen.

I rushed upstairs and went into the bathroom. I closed the door and locked it, I needed more than just a moment. I had to fix my dress, pull it down further, show Santana that I didn't want things to go that far anymore.

Deep down I knew differently though.

I knew how sexual she was, I could feel how wet I was. Things were just so complicated. I was supposed to hate her, I told myself that I would, but it was impossible. I knew this was just about sex for her, getting something she could get from everyone else, but she wanted a virgin. She wanted me.

A part of me wanted her back.

So what if it was just about conquest for her. Everyone wanted sex, even though they pretended they didn't. Why was I even thinking about this? It was all stupid anyway, we weren't dating, she could do what and who she wanted. I needed to get a grip.

I unlocked the bathroom door and rejoined the party. I got another drink and headed into the living room, just in time for a beer pong game to start.

"Rachel wanna join?" Brittany asked.

"No thanks." I told her. I was content with watching, up until I saw Quinn and Santana join the game. Santana was significantly drunker than she was about fifteen minutes ago, and all of my blame went to Quinn. She was latching onto Santana like a leach, holding her hand, as Quinn joined in on the game.

Santana stood behind Quinn, well actually she had her hands on either side of Quinn, leaning against her for support. There was a large crowd cheering and laughing as the game started, but I managed to get a spot spectating, that was right next to them both which only made things worse.

"How much did you have to drink?" I asked Santana whose eyes took more than a few moments to find me. "Look are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Jesus." Santana said scoffing at me. She drank Quinn's beer for her and tossed the cup on the ground behind her.

"You don't look fine." Santana took a step back from Quinn, so she wasn't pressed so tightly against her. Santana nodded down towards her crotch, I could see the bulge between her legs. She leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"If I can still get it up then I'm all good sweetheart." Santana laughed and went back to her previous position, behind Quinn. While I was standing there Santana had three more drinks, and she was completely dependent on Quinn for support. And Quinn was making things worse, she was groping Santana through her jeans, grabbing onto her dick like it was a fucking life jacket.

"Quinn." I said tapping Quinn's shoulder. "Santana's really drunk, should she go to bed now?" Quinn looked at me like I'd just said aliens are invading.

"Berry, I'll take care of her, don't worry about it." Quinn said. She pulled her hand away from Santana's crotch and looked over her shoulder. "Let's go upstairs San."

"That's not a good idea." I told Quinn.

"It's none of your damn business Rachel." Quinn decided to opt out of the rest of the game. She started for the stairs, which Santana could barely walk up.

"Quinn, I'm going to take Santana to the bathroom, okay? She's really drunk and if you want to hook up with her do it another night, I'm just worried. Nothing else." Quinn practically growled, but she did continue down the hall without much of a struggle. I held Santana up and guided her into the bathroom, where she stumbled until she finally sat down on the toilet.

I closed the door, so no one could see how wasted the host of the party was.

"I'm fucking tanked." She said with a smile. "Come here." I slowly walked towards her, apprehensive with good reason. She grabbed onto me and pulled me onto her lap. I was straddling her, my panties against her hard-on, without even knowing how it happened. "Feel that?" How could I not, my eyes were wide, the position we were in was so intimate that I could feel my whole body heat up.

"We shouldn't-."

"I was trying to make you jealous, with Quinn." She said slowly, her eyes trained on mine. "Kiss me."

"No."

"You're wet, I can feel you. I know you want this, stop lying to yourself…kiss me." And I did. And I'd never felt that good. Her tongue invading my mouth, her lips wanting me more than I could handle. She was destroying me with her touch, she was breaking down every wall, every barrier, and I couldn't get enough.

I moved against her, our hips were so in-synch, I thought for a moment that we really were having sex. "Rachel, let me do something for you." I pulled back, finally coming to my senses and understanding what was happing.

"Wait we can't." That's what my mouth said but I made no effort to move.

"Let me get you off, I wanna make you feel good."

"I do feel good I just…you're drunk and…I can't do this now." Santana nodded her head and ran her fingers through her hair slowly. "How about we just go to bed?"

"We?"

"Yeah, I'll stay over if you want. Just to sleep."

"Can we cuddle?" Her smile lowered my guard even more. "I want to hold you."

"You can." I said with a smile. "I'd really like that."

The pain that I felt in my head when I woke up was nearly unbearable. Nearly because Rachel Berry was so intertwined with me that I couldn't even know where I began. This was something I wanted, being with her like this. Not just sexually but intimately. It was special, and as Rachel slowly moved and opened her eyes, I couldn't help but smile. "Hey."

Rachel looked down at our bodies, and blushed. "I'm sorry, I just sort of latch on instead of cuddling."

"You think I mind?" I joked. "We fit perfectly, did you notice?"

"Yeah I noticed." Rachel said shyly. "Do you remember anything from yesterday?" I wished she didn't ask that. I just wanted to be frozen in this moment. I didn't want things to become complicated. I guess that was part of the problem. I always avoided things, I never faced them. I guess I'd have to start now.

"I remember little things…dancing with you, drinking beer…kissing you." Those were things I couldn't forget. Touching her like I did, my every moment with her was like pure muscle memory, I could never forgot how she felt.

"Can we have a serious talk?" Rachel asked.

"Of course." Even though I was unsure about where this was going.

"I want to talk to you about that night, tell you what happened." I wasn't prepared for this. I don't know if I was ready, but this wasn't about me. This was about how I hurt Rachel, about how I changed _us_ without even remembering a moment of it.

"I don't know if that's such a good idea." I told her honestly.

"It'll change things. No more secrets between us…I blame you but then again I don't…I can't. It was so innocent, it all started off so innocently."

**Up next is a flashback and then an agreement for exploration.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Flashback is up first, then we get to see Santana and Rachel start to explore in the second part of this. **

_Flashback: Rachel's POV_

_She was so endearing. That's why I let Kurt drag me to this party, because I knew she'd be here. Sure she wouldn't pay me any attention, but at least I could watch her. See her smile, maybe she'd talk to me, maybe just on accident, but that would make my life. That would really make me feel happy._

"_Are you looking at Santana?" Kurt asked me with a knowing grin. _

"_No I was just…looking around. There are so many people here." I lied covering for my leering. "Let's go get a drink." I urged Kurt. He led the way through the crowd and we were making it pretty far until Kurt suddenly stopped and I bumped into him. I looked up to see Santana standing in front of us with a small smirk on her face._

"_Hey Kurt, what's up man?" Santana asked kindly._

"_My friend, Rachel, wants a drink but she doesn't know what to make for herself." Kurt said for me. I was so flustered, that just her eyes on me made me want to crawl into a corner and die. "Rumor has it that you're the best bartender in the school."_

"_I'm the best in town." Santana said, completely sure of herself. "Come with me and I'll show you." Santana reached her hand out and my only reaction was to take it, and we left Kurt on the dance floor as we went into the kitchen. I'd have to thank Kurt later for this, but right now I was so happy to just be by Santana, alone. "So what'll it be?"_

"_I uh…I don't know." I said shyly. "I don't really drink that much."_

"_I've got something really special for you then." She began grabbing differently liquor bottles and pouring splashes into a glass. Once she'd made the drink she held it out for me to take, but when I reached for it she pulled it back with a laugh. "This is called a Screaming Orgasm. I'll only give it to you if you ask."_

"_Can I have it?" I asked deciding to play her game._

"_Say it." _

"_Can I have a…Screaming Orgasm?" I felt so embarrassed saying it, but Santana only seemed to enjoy it. She handed me the drink and I took a few tastes. It was delicious, and frankly I wanted at least three more, but Santana was in the middle of making her own drink which involved whipped cream and Bailey's Irish Cream and a blend of a few other things. "What's that called?"_

"_A Blow Job." She said once she's taken a tiny sip. "Taste it." I nodded and took the glass out of her hand, tasting it and presumably getting some whipped cream on my top lip. I went to go wipe it off, but Santana beat me to it, wiping my face with her thumb and getting a taste of the cream herself. She polished off the rest of the drink and set the glass down on the counter. "Hey want to go in the basement? I mean it's quiet down there and I wouldn't mind just talking to you."_

_Was this really happening? Was Santana seriously taking me into her basement because she wanted alone time with me? This felt so unreal. I just let it happen though, I'd let anything happen if it meant I could be around her. _

_She was right the basement was completely empty, and we took a seat on the couch. She was close to me, close enough that her knee grazed mine, and her eyes had nowhere to look but at me. "You're beautiful."_

"_What? Who? Me?" I asked._

"_Yes you." She said with a laugh. _

"_I thought you were into blondes." I said sheepishly._

"_Who'd you hear that from? Quinn? I do like blondes. Everyone likes blondes, but brunettes are the sexiest." She gently touched my cheek and smiled. "Today's my birthday, you know." I nearly fell out of my own skin. All Kurt said was that this was a party, not a birthday party. And especially not one for my biggest crush. I must have been sitting there looking like a clueless moron because Santana rested her hand on my thigh and squeezed gently. ?"You still with me?"_

"_W-what? No. I mean yes…I just didn't know it was your birthday, I would've gotten you something." A smile formed on her face._

"_I really just want to kiss you." I didn't even register what she said. It was so unbelievable that I just couldn't believe it. Things were moving fast, too fast actually. But even as she leaned closer and closer to me, I found myself doing the same. Making my dreams out of her luscious lips, and her warm tongue. She was so in control of this moment, that I practically melted against her._

_We didn't pull back for necessity, instead we heard a few people walking down the stairs, and we moved away from one another instinctively._

"_What were you two doing?" Noah asked as he wiggled his eyebrows. He and a few football players were drunk off their asses but apparently sober enough to hold this glasses upright._

"_What do you want Puck?" I tried not to enjoy this moment. Santana seemed genuinely upset that Noah had ruined her moment. Maybe she was looking to go further. Noah held out a red cup for Santana to take. "What's this?"_

"_A special drink. Promise it'll make you feel awesome." Noah said before handing it to Santana and patting her shoulder. "Maybe you should give some to this girl too, loosen her up too." Santana looked over at me and gave me an apologetic look. _

"_You're a moron Puck." Santana stood up and I followed suit. "The only other quiet place is my room, do you mind if we go up there?" Of course I didn't mind, I just wanted to keep kissing her, constantly be in her presence. It took us awhile to get through the crowd this time, but I think it was because Santana was making such a big show about bringing me up to her room. She seemed a little less stable now, and I think it had to do with that special drink that she couldn't seem to get enough of._

_I walked into her room first, I didn't know what to do so I sat down on her bed. Santana was sure to close the door, before she came over and sat down next to me. "Do you mind if we keep kissing?" I held her face in my hands and pulled her close, running my tongue over her bottom lip before kissing her again. It wasn't long before things got really heated, but things felt differently. Santana wasn't just being sexy, she was being kind of rough, and none of it really bothered me until she grabbed my hand and wrapped it around-_

"_What's that?" I tried to pull my hand back but Santana wouldn't let me. She just stared at me like I was being irrational. "Is that…?"_

"_Yeah." A hint of worry crossed her face, but her pupils were so dilated that I didn't even think she was registering her own emotions at this point._

"_I didn't know you had…I didn't think you…maybe we should stop." I suggested. _

"_Does it scare you?" She didn't let me finish, she kept rubbing herself against my hand, and now she was kissing my neck. I couldn't tell what I wanted anymore. She was taking completely control and I had no way of stopping her. "How about that blow job?" This wasn't her, this wasn't the cute flirtatious girl that I'd been kissing downstairs. She was darker now, more aggressive, and she wasn't taking no for an answer._

"_Santana…stop." She didn't, nothing I could say would stop her._

"_You gonna let me fuck you or what?" That's when everything changed. When I realized that she wasn't stopping, and she might take my virginity, she was going to rape me. I fought against her, but she was too strong. When she pulled back and dragged me up to my feet, I thought maybe she was coming to her senses, but she wasn't. _

_She walked me over to her dresser, and moved everything out the way, throwing some things onto the floor. She held my face against the mirror and started pulling off her belt. "Santana! Stop! No, please I don't want this."_

"_Shhh, Rachel come on. It's okay." She unzipped her pants, and I could feel the full length of her against the inside of my thigh. I thought she'd pull down my panties next, but she didn't. It took me a few moments to realize that she was getting off just by watching me pressed up against the mirror. She was jacking off against my thigh._

_She was clumsy, and completely wasted. Something was in that drink, this wasn't her at all. _

_When she ejaculated, she came all over my panties, and she was too weak and incoherent to even, pull up her pants all the way. She walked back and laid on her bed, staring at me while I tried to wipe the tears off my face. "Was it good for you?"_

_End Flashback_

By the end of the story I was so disgusted with myself, that I was ready to take a nose dive out the window. "I'm…"

"It wasn't you." Rachel assured me. "You got drugged, you would never do that. I know you wouldn't…I just couldn't get past how afraid I was that night. I thought you were going to have sex with me, and I wasn't ready for that, but I just wanted to hate someone for how it all felt. I wanted you so badly, and then I had to pretend not to want you at all."

"I really fucked us up then, huh?"

"For a while, but…we can move past it." Rachel said. "Before you I hardly understood what sexuality was, I didn't know how liberating some things could feel. You know about all of that. You can teach me."

"If you want. If you're comfortable."

"As long as we're both sober." Rachel told me. "I'm sorry I had to tell you about that."

"You had to say it, we couldn't move on without you explaining things to me." I kissed Rachel's forehead. "Let's just be honest with one another about what we want. It'll make things a little less complicated."

"I think I'm gonna go head home, but Tuesday my dads will be out of town and I sort of wanted to…have you over. Just for…nothing serious."

"Okay, I think that could be fun."

"See you then."

**Review Please.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here's part two.**

Santana's POV:

Tuesday could not come fast enough. I decided it was best just to avoid talking to Rachel or even being around her that much, because seeing her and thinking about what we might be doing just turned me on even more. She'd made things mildly clear, she wanted to explore some things, she wanted to learn more, feel more sexually liberated.

Of course things couldn't always go as planned. Right before I was about to leave Brittany walked over and grabbed onto my wrist so I couldn't make a quick getaway. "Are you avoiding me?"

"What? Why would you say that?" I tried to act as innocent as possible, even though I knew it wouldn't work. Brittany could see right through anything.

"You didn't dance with me at your party, and you didn't come over my house yesterday when I invited you and Q over. You always do this." I tried not to look at her, especially when she was pouting like that, it made things worse. "After we have sex you avoid me. Is it bad? Is it because you like Quinn better-."

"No, no of course not. I just…" I searched Brittany's eyes, I just wanted her to know the answer just by looking at me, but it wasn't that easy. "It's just different with you and Quinn. I feel attached to you after we…you know. It's just complicated. I know I'm being stupid by avoiding you, but it's the only way to make things simple."

"Hey, no strings attached remember? But that doesn't mean no emotional attachment, it doesn't happen that way when we're best friends." Brittany grabbed my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "I have practice, but I'll call you later tonight if you want. And we can hang out later this week, just for a movie."

"Thanks B." Brittany nodded with a smile.

"I just wanted you to stop being silly about things, okay." Brittany skipped off down the hallway, and for some reason she made me feel a lot less nervous about meeting up with Rachel.

I arrived at her house with a condom in my back pocket and lube in my backpack, just in case we went a little further than I anticipated. "Hey." Rachel said with a smile, she welcomed me in and got me a glass of orange juice before we headed up to her room. "You can sit down." I took off my shoes and sat down on her bed, setting the half empty glass of orange juice on her nightstand.

"We gonna watch something?" I asked Rachel as she hooked up her computer to her TV and sat down on the bed next to me.

"Well you are." She said with a shy smile. "I want to see you um…" She looked down at my crotch and then back up at my eyes. "What turns you on?"

"A lot I guess." I told her honestly.

"I mean like girls, guys, blow jobs, anal." Hearing those words come out of Rachel's mouth was enough to get me started, but I tried to keep myself from getting too turned on.

"I think blow jobs are pretty hot." I told her honestly.

"Do you ever watch porn to get off?"

"Yeah." I said.

"Show me which video you watch." I got up and walked over to her computer, going on line and going to my favorite porn site. I searched through a few videos before finding my favorite. "Come back over here." I did so and sat on the bed, mirror Rachel with my head against the headboard like hers was. "How big are you?" Rachel asked.

"Right now?"

"What's it called again? Are you a shower or grower?" I smiled at that, Rachel had been reading up.

"I'm at about six inches naturally, but when I'm hard it's like nine." Rachel seemed curious and even though this should have been weird, I'd never thought about exploring these kinds of things with other people. And I sort of liked this.

"Do you mind if I watch you?" I shook my head, I didn't mind at all. Rachel pressed play on the video and I started unbuttoning my pants. I pulled them down to just below my knees and started rubbing myself through my briefs. "Are you shy?" I chuckled a little, keeping my eyes on the video that was playing in front of me as I slowly pulled down my briefs. "Wow."

I slowly began stroking my cock, trying not to look at Rachel as I did so. I was getting off mostly on the fact that Rachel was watching me, the video was hardly doing a thing. All I could do to help was image that Rachel was sucking me off, wrapping those warm luscious lips around me, choking on my dick as it hit the back of her throat. I licked my hand and began stroking faster. "Something changed, you're thinking about something." Of course Rachel would notice, I tried to slow my breathing down but I couldn't, Rachel was all that was in my head right now.

"Can I wrap my arm around you?" Rachel nodded and scooted closer to me. I wrapped my arm around her hip and toyed with the end of her jean shorts as I pumped my cock faster. I wasn't going to last much longer. "Fuck." I breathed out, I couldn't even keep my eyes open at this point.

"You okay?"

"I'm gonna cum." I told her. I yanked my shirt over my head. "Fuck…" I came, harder than usual. My stomach was painted white, and even as I was coming down from my orgasm my dick was still hard as a rock. "Jesus."

"You're still hard."

"It's your fault." I told her. "I need to go clean myself up-."

"Wait, just keep going." Rachel placed her hand gently on my thigh, caressing it lightly. I wondered why she didn't touch me somewhere else, but I didn't ask. This was clearly a first for her, so I wasn't going to push her. "How often do you masturbate?" I laughed to myself, Rachel was so curious, and it was sort of really cute.

"Probably like once a day…I dunno, depending what happens." I explained to her. "What about you?" I was amazed at how comfortable I was doing this.

"I've never really…" I looked at Rachel's face just in time to catch her blushing. "I mean sometimes I get turned on, but I don't know what to do."

"Do you touch yourself?" I asked her and she nodded. "Do you pinch your clit, push your fingers inside?"

"I'm afraid to, I think it'll hurt."

"Okay, I understand that." I squeezed my balls gently, to keep myself from cumming again so quickly. "Rachel did you suck your thumb when you were younger?"

"Yeah." She was completely confused, but I thought it was kind of funny that she didn't know where this was going.

"If I told you to suck my finger, would you think that was totally weird?" Rachel shook her head no. I brushed my finger over her bottom lip and smiled at how eager she looked. She rested her hand on my thigh dangerously close to my cock.

"Do you imagine that your finger is your...?"

"Yeah." Rachel slid her tongue slowly up and down my finger, before sucking on the end gently. I played with her tongue, touched her lips. I didn't even ask her if it was okay to kiss her, I was just so in the moment. I was so wrapped up in her.

"Are you close?" Rachel whispered against my lips. I kissed her harder, rougher, somehow I found my way on top of her. Pressing her down against her bed. I came again, only this time on Rachel's sheets. I couldn't stop kissing her, I wanted to be inside her, but she pushed my shoulders back, but not forcibly.

She had a smile on her face when she looked at me again.

"Sorry, I got carried away." I pulled my pants back up and zipped them. I rolled onto my side and smiled. "Maybe I should clean up a little."

"Maybe." Rachel said with a little giggle.

"And was that all okay? I mean I got off, but you didn't." Rachel nodded. "I mean I could do something for you, if you wanted. I don't mind, seriously."

"No, I mean…watching you was enough."

"Did it turn you on?" Rachel blushed so I took it as a yes. "Were you impressed?"

"Shut up Santana." Rachel pushed my shoulder playfully.

"I'm bigger than you thought I was aren't I?"

"Stop being so cocky or next time-."

"So there'll be a next time?" Rachel did not want to give in, but she had to. "I'll be looking forward to it." I said with a grin. "But until then I should probably shower or something."

"Don't masturbate in my shower." Rachel warned me as I stood up.

"No promises."

**Reviews always help, thanks for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is a bit longer, I hope you enjoy it that much more.**

"So I take it your dads are back?" I asked Rachel as I leaned up against her locker. "I mean you've hardly said anything to me since Tuesday."

"I'm sorry." Rachel said genuinely. "I just…I was really into it, and I thought it'd sound stupid if I told you that I wanted to do that again."

"It doesn't sound stupid, it sounds fun." I gently rested my hand on her shoulder, just so that she'd feel more comfortable around me. "Did I tell you how good you look today?" Rachel looked down at her shoes, but I lifted her chin up and smiled. "I could just eat you up."

"Are you flirting with me?" Rachel asked. I looked around the hall, it was clearing out, everyone wanted to just go home. I grabbed Rachel's hips and pressed her back against her lockers.

"What are you talking about?" I question with faux innocence. I leaned my forearm above Rachel's head and smiled, I liked being in this position and Rachel knew it. "I'm just a little tired, could use a little relaxation."

"What kind of relaxation?" Rachel asked with a smirk.

"The kind where I…" I looked around again and leaned closer to Rachel, whispering in here ear, "Get to watch you this time."

"Wow you two are getting pretty friendly." I pulled back and looked over just in time to see Quinn approaching. "It's cute." Quinn's lack of sincerity was so obvious it hurt. "Santana, I need help with a history paper, can you come over sometime this weekend?"

"Yeah…uh, sure. What about Sunday?"

"Sunday it is." Quinn said with a smile before turning to Rachel and sizing her up. Quinn walked away soon after, she wasn't one for extreme dramatics but her antics were enough.

"What's that about?"

"You heard her, she needs help on her paper." I reminded Rachel.

"More like she wants you to go over to her house so you two can hook up." This was new. I didn't realize there'd be this many emotions floating around, especially when we'd hardly done anything.

"So what if that ended up happening? Quinn's relentless sometimes-."

"Oh please, like you don't want it."

"You're right, I do want it. I want her on occasion. And you said we were just having fun. Exploring. Well Quinn lets me explore other things." Rachel was so ready to walk away but I didn't want this conversation to be over just yet, so I didn't move. "Quinn and I are just gonna do homework Sunday, scout's honor, but it's not fair of you to get in the middle of it. You and I are just hanging out."

"I'm not trying to control you." Rachel said. "You and Quinn can do whatever, even if it means hooking up, I'm sorry I made a big thing out of it."

"So are we okay?" Rachel nodded.

"Of course." She smiled and squeezed my bicep for a moment before blushing.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"You're stronger than I thought." She looked away, like she'd just said the most embarrassing thing on the planet. "I thought soccer was only supposed to make your legs really strong."

"I lift too. I bet I could lift you." I said with a laugh. Without warning I wrapped my arms behind Rachel's thighs and lifted her up, pressing her back against the lockers for support. "See."

"Put me down before I…" Rachel's eyes met mine, and everything I was feeling was way off. I wanted to kiss her, not just sleep with her, but kiss her. Hold her even. It was weird, not something I was used to. "I have to go."

"I can carry you."

"Stop." Rachel said playfully. "I'll text you later. Have fun with Quinn, seriously." I slowly let Rachel down and took a step back. "See you."

"Bye."

Helping Quinn turned into me doing her whole paper. Not only that, we ended up working at my house. She was such a slacker sometimes, it was ridiculous. All she wanted to do was listen to music and dance around. "I'm done with _your_ paper." Quinn turned and looked at me with a grin. She was wearing these incredibly stupid cat spanks with a tank top on, and all I wanted to do was get her out of here as soon as possible.

"Thanks, you're a rockstar." Quinn took her laptop and set it down on my desk. I laid down on my stomach and rested my head on my arms. My back was killing me from working two hours straight nonstop. I didn't even notice that Quinn has walked over, not until I felt her hands on my shoulders.

"What are you doing?" I asked even though I knew full well that she was giving me a massage. It felt good, she had strong hands and she was gentle too.

"I'm repaying you." Quinn said, I knew she was grinning and I knew exactly where this was going right away. She straddled my hips from behind and continued massaging my back. "What do you want in payment?" Quinn asked with a giggle.

"A massage is just fine." I assured her. She leaned down and peppered kisses down my neck before biting my ear.

"What about…" She leaned closer, so she was practically laying on top of me. "Anal?" I sat up, that sent all my blood rushing downwards. She could not be serious. There was no way in hell. 

"Quinn stop messing with me." I started sitting up and Quinn had no other option but to slide off me and sit on the side of her bed. "It's not funny."

"I'm serious." Quinn said. I sat next to her, wondering if she was just trying to get into my head. Maybe she was pissed about Rachel, maybe she wanted payback or something. She'd get my hopes up and then crush them. "I was thinking of trying it…I mean, just once."

"I don't know, I mean obviously I want to but…" I looked at her, and I could see that she was nervous. "Not this soon, it'll hurt you."

"But how am I supposed to pay you back?" Quinn asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"You don't have to." I promised. "You never have to do anything." Quinn kissed me, so sweetly that my emotions crumbled inside me. This was confusing, usually we were just passionate, never sweet. "I should get out of here."

"No you shouldn't." Quinn slipped her hand into my boxers and my breath hitched, I wasn't expecting it, not after that kiss. She was back, stroking me quickly, pulling off her shirt. I wasn't into it, not until Quinn pushed me down on my back and started rubbing herself against me. I had no idea how she got her shorts off so quickly, but the fact that she wasn't wearing anything under them didn't surprise me.

"You're such a fucking slut." I said with a laugh. I lifted Quinn off me and tore off my pants. She slid down my body, seductively, making a big show of sucking me off through my boxers. "Stop fucking around." Quinn tugged my boxers down, freeing me for half a second before taking me in her mouth. I closed my eyes, running my fingers through her hair, trying not to push but losing control quickly.

Quinn had the best tongue and knew exactly how to use it, but my mind was on something else. Rachel. I wonder if she's tried getting herself off since the last time we hung out. I wonder if she's fingered herself. I bet she's so fucking tight, I just want to be inside her. I want to see that moment of pain on her face when I enter her, I want her to cum so much that she can't move for a week. I want to fuck her senseless.

"Oh fuck." I couldn't imagine cumming in Rachel's mouth, she'd probably choke on my cock anyway, her mouth isn't as big as Quinn's. "Fuck Rachel don't stop." Quinn pulled back and I opened my eyes, did I just say that aloud? "Shit." I muttered. Quinn got up and started pulling on her clothes.

"Were you seriously thinking of her when I was giving you a blowjob? Unbelievable." Quinn was furious and I really couldn't come up with a decent excuse.

"I didn't mean to, she just came into my mind. I don't know why, I didn't mean for that to happen." Quinn was completely done with my shit, and that was obvious. She wasn't going to listen to a thing I had to say, not tonight at least. "Maybe we should cool down?" I suggested.

"Are you sure you can handle that? Because Brittany's going on vacation and I know Rachel wouldn't put out for a second. So who's gonna fuck you when you don't have me?" Quinn questioned. "God, I can't believe you! I make you feel so damn good, I bet you cum at the thought of me. You're gonna miss out so fucking bad."

"Quinn just calm down. We need some time, realize that we're just friends, okay." Quinn grabbed her backpack and swung it over her shoulder. "Call me or something."

"Whatever."

"Call." I said again and Quinn nodded before opening my door and rushing down the steps. I didn't have the energy to stop her, not to mention I still had a hard-on. I ignored my body's natural need for touch and decided a nice bath would be better for me. I turned on the water in my bathtub and stripped naked.

I heard a knocking at my bedroom door. Was Quinn back? She seemed pretty upset, and I figured she wouldn't come around for at least a week. I pulled back on my boxers and my bra and walked over to answer it.

Rachel was standing there. She looked away from me on account of my half nakedness, but she didn't run away. "I wasn't expecting you." I told her with a smile.

"I was expecting you to be kind of dressed." I looked down. My boxers weren't that tight, and I was wearing a sports bra. In hindsight I could've been wearing something a lot more revealing. "Come inside." Rachel walked past me and I closed my door. "Were you just like in the neighborhood or something?"

"Actually I just kind of wanted to see you." How could I not smile at that? "What are you up to?"

"About to take a bath. I was planning on relaxing." I opened my bathroom door to let some of the steam from the hot bath out. "Wanna join me?" That caught Rachel off guard and I was sort of amused.

"I don't know."

"It's a bubble bath." I informed her. "I'll tell you what, I'll get in and then close my eyes so you can undress and get in too. I won't try anything you don't want to try, scout's honor." Rachel nodded. We both stepped into the bathroom and I closed the door behind her. "You can look if you want." I pulled my bra off over my head and tugged my boxers off.

Stepping into the hot bath made me feel a thousand times better. "Close your eyes." I liked how commanding Rachel sounded, like she really would be upset if I looked, which is why I didn't. Actually I thought she might have chickened out and left until I felt her foot against my calf and she slowly entered the bathtub.

She could've sat across from me, but apparently she wanted to feel me, because she sat in between my legs and leaned back against my chest. "This okay?"

"Yeah." Rachel sounded more than content and that satisfied me enough. "This feels good."

"You have a really beautiful body." I told Rachel. I wanted to wrap my arms around her but I didn't, I figured that would be too much. "Is it okay if I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Did you ever try and…you know, get yourself off?" Rachel sat up a little, and looked over her shoulder at me. "Stupid question, sorry."

"I've never done that." Rachel said. "It makes me so nervous."

"I could show you how." I offered. "Here." I covered her hand with my own. I moved her hand down to her thigh, moving it back and forth gently. "What do you think about? What makes you hot?"

"I don't know." I could feel her body heat up as I continued moving her hand slowly against her skin. "Right now? You." I smiled against her shoulder. "Will you do it?"

"Yeah." I whispered in her ear before resting my hand on the inside of her thigh. I used my feet to spread her legs wider. When I ran my fingers up her folds she shuddered against me, this was the first time anyone had touched her like that. It was obvious. I pinched her clit and she almost jumped out of the tub. "Relax." I slowly pushed my fingers into her opening, she was in pain for a moment before she started moving against my fingers, desperately wanting more. "That didn't hurt, right?"

"Jesus, can you move them? Please." It wasn't quite begging but it was still sexy as hell. I pushed my fingers inside her, faster, until she couldn't breathe normally, until she held onto my thighs and dug her nails into them. "Santana I…"

"Rachel cum, let yourself go." Her body tightened, she held onto me tighter, and came completely undone. We rested for a while, my fingers still inside her, my dick hard against her back. "I wish I could've seen the face you made."

"Shut up."

"No I'm serious, I bet it was hella sexy." Rachel laughed along with me. "It felt good though."

"Amazing." Rachel said with a nod. "I can feel you, do you want me to do something?" I covered my dick with my hand, feeling embarrassed that I was so turned on. "Don't hide it."

"You don't have to do anything." I assured Rachel.

"I'm offering to make you cum and you're saying no?" Well when she said it like that, of course it sounded stupid.

"Wait, I'm not saying no, can we just get out of the tub first?" Rachel turned around completely, sitting up on her knees and looking at me with a worried expression. I couldn't help it, my eyes went to her chest, her perky breasts looking back at me.

"Is something wrong? Did I do something-."

"No Rachel, it's not you. I just when I'm in water, my…it's smaller." Rachel looked down as if she could see what I was talking about, but my hand was still covering my dick.

"Oh." Rachel stood up slowly, so that she was standing over me, I stared up at her appreciating the view. "I'll be in your room, give me like five minutes to get dressed, then come out."

"Okay." Rachel climbed out of the bathtub and I watched her go, she didn't bother putting on a towel to cover herself until she was outside the door. She was putting on a show and she knew it. I was enjoying every second of this.

**The more feedback I get the quicker I update, thanks for reading. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Enjoy.**

I dried my body off, before putting on some lotion. I chose vanilla spice, thinking it might be something sweet for Rachel. I pulled on some briefs and sweatpants, along with a sports bra and tank top. I decided to wait a few more minutes just in case Rachel wasn't dressed, but then I got restless and walked outside of the bathroom.

Rachel was on my bed, laying on her stomach, facing away from me and scanning a magazine. I climbed onto the bed and lay down next to her. "So why was Quinn here?" Rachel asked, she didn't sound like she was accusing me of anything, honestly she sounded curious, but that still didn't stop me from blushing.

"I pretty much wrote her paper for her, so she wanted to thank me." I was hoping she would get the gist of it all without me having to retell it.

"How?"

"She tried to give me a blow job." Rachel looked confused.

"Tried?" I knew she'd get stuck on that word, I guess I set myself up for this anyway. I'd have to tell her, and she'd probably laugh, but at least I'd get it off my chest.

"Yeah…I mean I was kind of worked up, she was doing her thing, I talk too much when I'm turned on-."

"Talk? Like how? Dirty talk?" Rachel was curious like she always was, and I couldn't help but smile. She wasn't lying earlier, she really didn't seem jealous of Quinn, it was odd that she was so open about this.

"Yeah, I can't help it, when I get horny I get nasty." Rachel blushed and looked down at her hands.

"What'd you say to Quinn?" Rachel asked.

"I said your name." That got Rachel's attention, fast. I wrapped my arm around Rachel's waist and pulled her closer to me. "I couldn't help it, I couldn't stop thinking about you." Rachel smiled and leaned in to kiss me, but I kissed her first. Before I got a chance to deepen it she pulled back quickly. "You okay?"

"I'm sorry, I just…I don't think…" If I was making her uncomfortable I wanted to know. I thought she was okay with all of this, I couldn't pressure her to do anything. "I don't think I can fit you in my mouth." That sent all the blood rushing down, Rachel had no idea how easy it was for her to turn me on. "You're really big."

"Oh say that again." I joked. Rachel didn't seem to find the humor. "Hey, let's just figure it out as we go along." Rachel nodded and watched as I took off my sweatpants. I rested on my side, watching Rachel's eyes as she focused on the bulge between my legs. "Trust me, okay?" Rachel bit her bottom lip and looked me in the eyes. I ran my thumb over her bottom lip and then gently pushed her mouth open. "Your lips are so fucking perfect."

"Is that your favorite part of my body?" I smirked and kissed her neck before straddling her hips from behind. I brushed her hair over to her right shoulder before running my tongue up her neck.

"Your ass, it's big for a white girl." Rachel giggled. "How was your first orgasm?"

"Incredible."

"Next time, I want you to scream my name, okay?" Rachel nodded and I smiled against her neck. "Rachel I want you."

"What do you want?" Rachel whispered. I lifted Rachel up and pulled her on top of me, straddling my hips. I rested my shoulders against my headboard and looked at Rachel. "You're so strong…it's sexy."

"You don't know sexy until you've looked in the mirror." I grabbed Rachel's hips and pulled her closer, pushing my tongue in her mouth, biting her lip, feeling how much she wanted me from the way she gripped my thigh. I was so into her that when she grabbed my cock, I gasped and pulled back from the kiss. I closed my eyes, I was so not ready for Rachel to touch me like that. "Fuck Rachel."

"Did I do something wrong?" Rachel pulled her hand away like she'd hurt me or something.

"No." I said with a laugh. "Keep doing that." Rachel wrapped her hand around my cock, holding me through my briefs. She moved it slowly back and forth, her eyes never left my face the whole time. "Are you teasing me?" Rachel shook her head no, but when I leaned in to kiss her she pulled back with a giggle. "What are you-?"

"I just want to watch your face." Rachel climbed down my body, stopping when her knees were on either side of my calves. She tugged at my briefs, slowly pulling them down and freeing my erection. "How big are you again?"

"Nine inches." I rested my hand on the back of Rachel's neck, being sure not to pull her towards me even though I was practically dying here. "Rachel I need you." She leaned down, a kissed the head of my cock gently. She looked up at me again before opening her mouth and taking me as deep as she could. She could take me about five inches deep before she started to gag. Watching Rachel go down on me, had to be the hottest thing I've ever experienced. She was so careful, going so slowly, trying to open her mouth wider and use her tongue more. When I was getting close I gripped the bed sheets beside me. "Rachel look at me." She looked up, her mouth being stretched by my cock, she hummed against me and I could feel my body tighten.

"Am I doing okay?" Rachel didn't let me answer, she ran her tongue up my shaft and gently squeezed my balls.

"Better than okay." I couldn't stop looking at her, sue me, I was mesmerized. She tried to open her mouth wider, take me in deeper, but she couldn't. "Hey don't choke yourself." She bobbed her head for a few more moment before pulling back and licking her lips.

"I just want to make you feel good." She kissed the tip of my cock and twirled her tongue around it, seductively, her eyes never leaving mine. "Are you gonna cum or what?" Rachel was a huge tease, and she was fucking good at it.

Rachel pulled back when I moaned and I pumped my cock a few more times before cumming against my leg.

"You are really good at that." I told her as I tried to regulate my breathing. Rachel rested beside me, with her arm resting against my chest. I felt Rachel's finger against my thigh and I looked down. She looked directly at me while she tasted my cum. "Are you trying to get me riled up again?"

"Nope." She said innocently. "But I wouldn't mind if you were."

"I like this." I told her truthfully. "I like you." She smiled and toyed with the hem of my shirt. "I like trying things with you, I'm happy we're friends."

"Me too." She said.

"I really need to get cleaned up though, cum on my thigh is not sexy." I said with a light laugh. "I need a shower."

"I'll join." Rachel stood up and pulled me up to my feet. "If you don't mind."

"No objections here."

…

The next day at school was kind of perfect. I saw Rachel first thing, we'd planned it actually. We met by her locker and for a solid two minutes neither one of us said anything. "Are you okay with what happened?" Rachel nodded. "I feel kinda bad."

"About what?" I could tell that made her nervous, this was new for us both and neither one of us wanted to mess it up.

"What you did for me, I mean…did you feel like you had to? Because you didn't, I wasn't expecting it from you-."

"I wanted to." Rachel assured me. "And as it turns out you taste as good as you look." I blushed but didn't even try to hide it, if that was the type of compliments she gave, I'd be searching for more later.

"I'm not like too big am I?" I asked quietly. This part made me nervous, I mean giving someone a blowjob, size didn't actually matter, but doing more stuff, it did. I wanted to go further with Rachel, but I wouldn't if it would hurt her.

"Complement seeker." Rachel said playfully hitting my arm.

"No I meant am I too big for…" I trailed off. Maybe I shouldn't ask this, maybe Rachel didn't even want to talk about that. Was I moving too fast for her? "Maybe I shouldn't ask-."

"It's okay to ask things like that, Santana. I mean I want to…you know, but we can't for a while." I must have looked confused, probably like a total idiot too. "Because I'm on my period."

"Oh…right, I uh…right." I smiled because sometimes talking about things like _that_ were out of my comfort zone. "Wait a week is a while to you?"

"Yeah I mean, especially since I want you so badly." Rachel gave me a quick peck on the lips and pulled back with a grin. "A week is gonna feel like forever. How are we gonna pass the time?"

"Maybe like…we get dinner or something?" That brightened her smile even more.

"That could be fun."

"It will be, promise."


End file.
